My turn

Addiction.  I am addicted to alcohol.

There is no way around it….I am allowing alcohol to enter my body knowing it is doing me harm.  I am slowly killing myself, both physically and mentally.

I want to feel peace in my life, but having alcohol ruling it does nothing but give me the opposite feeling.

How do I know I am addicted to alcohol?  The simple answer is I want to stop consuming it, but no matter how hard I try, no matter what way I try (and I’ve tried almost all of them), no matter how many times I try (going on 7 years now), I cannot do it.  Alcohol has always won in the end.

I have been so positively influenced by so many people telling their stories of how they have overcome their addiction to alcohol.  I’ve read and heard their stories via blogs, podcasts, books, face to face interactions.  These people really are doing it.  They seem to have figured out how to go from being a person whose life was ruled by alcohol to being released from it’s grips.  Their stories are so inspiring.  Their stories are raw, real, and sometimes not so pretty….and this makes them all that more inspiring.  These are real people w/ real addictions to alcohol, and they figured out how to successfully remove alcohol from their lives for an extended period of time.  As a consequence they all have one thing in common…. they seem happy that their lives are no longer controlled by the chains of alcohol.

It’s my turn now.  It has to be.  I am not a quitter by nature, but this addiction to alcohol is the hardest thing I have had to deal w/ in my life.  I have broken down and given into it time and time again.  It sucks.  The whole thing sucks.  And my addiction is sucking heath and happiness out of my life.  But it’s my turn now.  Please let it be my turn.  Please let it be my turn to figure out how to live my life without alcohol successfully.

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